Jan. 20-Feb. 18
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.
Feb. 19-Mar. 20
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI and CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a dipshit.
You are the pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are a prick.
Apr. 20-May 20
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think of you as stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamn communist.
May 21-June 21
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bi-sexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Gemini's are notorious for thriving on incest.
June 22 July 22
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.
July 23-Aug. 22
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leo's are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and spend most of their time kissing mirrors.
Aug. 23-Sept. 22
You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgo's make good bus drivers and pimps.
Sept. 23-Oct. 23
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libra's die of venereal disease.
Oct. 24-Nov. 21
The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted.You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpio's are murdered.
Nov. 22-Dec. 21
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarius. You are not worth the sweat on a camel's balls.
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.
Have A Nice Day!!!